Did I Do That ????

One of my favorite TV shows when I was growing up was "Family Matters" with the Winslow family and Steve Urkel. I remember an episode where Carl promises Steve to take him on a hot air balloon ride "tomorrow." The next day Steve keeps bothering Carl about the promised ride but Steve answers by saying "I told you I would take you tomorrow. Today is today, not tomorrow. I'll take you tomorrow." His implication of course, is that it is never tomorrow because it's always today.

I've noticed that I sometimes do the same thing to myself. I'll have specific goals and know what I need to do to accomplish those goals but when I get into a more challenging situation I'll say to myself, oh I'll just do it next time. The problem with this statement when using it as as a way to procrastinate or take the easy route is that "next time" never comes. We are always in this time.

Using the phrase "next time" in this context is different than using an encouraging voice (i.e. ok...I made a mistake but next time I can choose to do something different). When I use "next time" in the context above, I'm using it to justify the behavior inconsistent with my goals. If I'm tempted to restrict or overeat, for instance, a choice I have made in the past is to tell myself, "well, I'll just listen to my hunger-fullness next time" and then proceed to use and abuse food. I use the phrase "next time" in making my decision instead of using it to deal with what has happened. As Urkel found out though, it's always now and never next time. When I hear myself saying oh screw it, I'll just "do better next time," I try to remember that it's never next time, I only have this time and I need to act consistently with my goals in order to accomplish them. I try to remind myself that lots of things are difficult and scary to do but sometimes those are the things that I have to do...this time...because this time is last time's next time.

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do." -Eleanor Roosevelt