Because it's Thursday!

Yesterday I found out that a Center for Change Alumni passed away last week due to complications caused by an eating disorder. I didn't know Abby but we were connected by our very powerful and emotional experiences and I'm deeply saddened by her passing. I've experienced this tragic death several times over the years and it tears me up every time. A few weeks ago I heard of the death of a girl that I crossed paths with at the center and, as every time I hear news like that, I was shocked and filled with a pain of frustrated understanding. I found a facebook page dedicated to her memory and read many wonderful things about her written by friends and family. As I read I began to think "I wonder if things could have been different if we would have told her these things before she died?" Why do we wait until it's to late to tell someone how great they are and how much we think of them and love them? We always say the kind and honest feelings from our hearts for those that have passed but wouldn't it make so much more sense to share these things while they are still with us? If our objective is to truly express to that person our love and gratefulness for them being who they are, then I think we should tell them! None of us are going to make it to our funerals to hear what everyone thought of us. For some reason I feel like it has been labeled inappropriate to just tell someone about something that you think is wonderful about them or how much they mean to you. I know I've been afraid to express things like this because I didn't want the person to think I was a creeper or fishing for complements for myself. I've feared that maybe they don't think that I should feel that way so I shouldn't tell them because then they would think I was weird. This is pretty ridiculous when I think about it from the other perspective. It always makes me feel good when someone gives me a compliment and it always feels great to hear how much I mean to someone.

Sometimes I won't say anything because there's no specific occasion or reason to. Why is a nice thing said so strange without having a specific reason? Our society is very linear...if you don't have an occasion to do something, you don't do it. We're afraid that we won't have an explanation as to why we have said something from our heart...but why do we need a "reason"? In the words of A. A. Milne, "Piglet thought that they ought to have a Reason for going to see everybody, like Looking for Small or Organizing an Expedition, if Pooh could think of something. Pooh could. 'We'll go because it's Thursday,' he said, 'and we'll go to wish everybody a Very Happy Thursday. Come on, Piglet.'"  Let's not wait for a Reason to tell others how wonderful they are!