Make Your Own RAD Pole Garage!

Even though I live in the largest state in the country, I am still thousands of miles from the nearest pole studio. So, after gaining inspiration from the International Pole Convention and PoleMoves Movement Arts Studio, I decided to build my own. Here's how I did it, without spending a small fortune.

Before I built my pole space I had one pole up in my living room...it was a pain because I had to take it down each time to avoid damaging the carpet or ceiling. I soon began to envision half of my garage as my pole haven. My garage is tall enough to allow me to use all of my pole extensions and its spacious and apart from the house. The cold cement floor isn't to comforting though. 

I definitely wanted mats in my space but I'm a cheap engineer, so I figured I'd try my hand at making my own. Carpet padding works great as the main component of a mat. You can also usually get it really cheap. At a home improvement stores like Lowes, it runs around $100 to $130 per 30 sq yard roll, but you can usually find new carpet padding for sale or for free on websites like Craig's List. I purchased two rolls of ~1/2" thick padding for $100 from a local contractor. For the top of the mat I used gym equipment mats, but also considered carpet/gym puzzle flooring and fabric.

Once I decided on the dimensions I wanted and the best location for my poles (keeping in mind that the garage door still has to open), I started rolling out and cutting padding with a sharp box cutter. The padding comes is rolls 6ft wide so some splicing together of pieces may be in order if you have different dimensions to cover. To get a mat thickness of around 3" I stacked five layers of carpet padding and topped it off with the gym equipment mats. I taped the mats together with black duct tape...although I strongly considered pink. I was a little concerned that the tape wouldn't stick well enough and would peel, leaving sticky residue, but it has held up very well. I also wondered if I would need to adhere the different layers of carpet padding together but I didn't and they've stayed together well (with minor modifications occasionally). I would suggest, however, that if you use multiple pieces of padding in each layer (i.e. cut up pieces to make up specific dimensions), then tape those pieces together using duct tape to keep them from drifting apart.

Once I got my mat together I cut holes for my poles using measurements made when I determined the best place for the poles. I once again used a sharp box cutter (I went through several blades throughout the project) and a measuring tape to make about 3" x 3" holes through all of the mat components in two places. Next I slid the x-pole bases under the mat until they each poked out of their respective holes.

In order to avoid having to decide on pole placement based on location of roof studs, I used wide pieces of wood to distribute the compression load of the pole across several support members. These go right in between the roof and the top dome of the x-pole. After leveling the poles and tightening them up, I just had to hang some pictures of hot pole guys and amazing pros, plug in the speakers, and get a Scentsy going for a sweet smell!  In all I spent about $230 (not including the poles) and absolutely love how everything turned out!

At the Crux.

A few years back I participated in an outdoor rock climbing session for experiential therapy. I wanted to climb but I wasn't to enthused about the whole "therapy" part. I understood that the therapists were trying to help, but it seemed ridiculous to me at the time to talk about feelings and goals and "overcoming"...bla bla bla...We weren't laying down on some couch spilling our life stories, we were just going to climb some rocks! When I finally got my chance, I squeezed into my tiny climbing shoes and began scaling a small, challenging cliff. I came within a couple of moves from the top and my arms began to give. They were extremely "pumped." I felt completely spent and was afraid I just couldn't go on. I was so close to the top though, people were cheering me on. I specifically remember the conscious decision I made then. "I can do this. I will do this." I looked deep within me and pushed through what I thought was to difficult.

As I finished the climb and was lowered back to the ground, it dawned on me how parallel this experience could be toward my life. We all experience difficult, fearful, heart-wrenching situations. They seem impossible to overcome at the time. We are "completely spent." We feel like we just can't go on...it's too hard. I realized though, that if I look within myself and push forward with everything I have, I can accomplish what seems impossible. Sometimes the "climbs" aren't difficult but other times we have to access that extra strength within ourselves to pull up the last few feet. The hard part isn't when you start climbing, it's when you've almost reached the top...you're fatigued, maybe scared, your body hurts...but it's then that just one last push will bring success.

I've started to climb again over the last year and am constantly reminded of my experience on the cliffs in Utah. It seems that everything I read related to climbing has an experiential therapy lesson. I must not be the only one who experiences a mind-body connection while climbing! I sometimes struggle with honoring the commitments or goals I make with myself. After a particularly rough period of time I came across a full page add/picture in a magazine of a rock climber high on a difficult climb. In big black bold lettering printed to the left was a quote from the climber. "At the crux. No turning back. I commit." What an awesome, inspiring, and helpful attitude, for climbing, and for life!

"In my three decades as a climber, perhaps the biggest breakthrough occurred when I realized that almost all the mental skills and strategies I learned through climbing could be applied to other areas in my life...In pushing personal boundaries and confronting the unknown, it's common to ponder the benefits of a retreat. Acknowledge such mental battles--between your desire to do new things and your primal instinct to avoid discomfort and failure--as being a normal part of the process. Resolve to persevere and you'll redefine your abilities and perception of what is possible." -Eric J. Horst

Stretching my Thinking

I always thought that flexibility was one of those things that you are either born with our you're not. That's the way I've thought about a lot of things. You're either good at sports or you sit the bench. If you're no good at music you won't ever be able to play the guitar, or at least not very well. I've looked upon people who were really good at whatever they were doing and thought "man that is awesome, I wish I was able to do that...but that person obviously has way more talent and ability than I do." Instead of being inspired by an amazing performance, I am usually discouraged by feelings of inadequacy and disappointment. I attribute their performance to some innate talent or ability that they were blessed with and I was not.

Although this type of mind set is pervasive in our society, I'm learning that it really isn't accurate. People have many differently personalities, experiences, learning styles, and ways of thinking, but abilities and skill level are not due to innate talent or genes. They are a result of consistent practice. Yes certain people may have more of an inclination towards particular things, but I believe what we see as "talent" is passion that has fueled consistent, dedicated practice. A child music protege is not born with the ability to play the piano. They are born with a determined spirit and develop such an immense passion and love for playing the instrument that they practice all the time!

I used to be about as flexible as a two by four inch board. I was an active kid and played lots of sports but Lord have mercy those hamstrings were tight! Although I thought it would be awesome if I was, I assumed and accepted that I would never be flexible. I wasn't blessed with that talent so I never would have it. Despite the fact that I had a hard time touching my toes, I went to a yoga class about a year ago and found that stretching felt good on my joints and muscles and made me feel relaxed. I really liked one particular stretch that focuses on the hips and leads into the front splits. I began to think "it would be so cool to be able to do the splits!" Since then I've made an effort to consistently and consciously stretch. It's not something that I've scheduled or obsessively enforced upon myself. I enjoy it. It relaxes me. It feels good so I remind myself that stretching is something I like to do and that quiet and enjoyable reminder turns into consistent practice in stretching. After a year of sticking with it I have gradually become able to do something I never imagined possible! I can do the splits!

It's tough to acknowledge that I'm not going to be a pro at something the first time I try it, but it's also extremely encouraging to know that if I love something enough to dedicate myself to consistent practice and patience, I eventually will be able to do it!

Say What??

The idea of being fake doesn't sit well with me so I used to hate the idea of using quotes and positive affirmations to somehow make me "feel better about myself." I felt like many motivational, inspirational, or even insight type quotes usually sounded good but in reality, weren't realistic. When push came to shove, no, I didn't feel "positive" or "calm" or good about myself and I would only be a part of the charade by preaching or embracing positive quotes and affirmations. Now, though, I'm finding that I can learn a whole lot about life and myself from what other people have said. I've found that reading and writing down enlightening quotes can help me remember aha moments of learning and help remind me of what I'm working on and for and how and what I can do or ways I can think to influence my life.

Here are some of my favorites right now:

"An atmosphere of nurturance, encouragement, and acceptance will cause you to blossom the fastest... Your thoughts are your atmosphere." -V Hansen, S. Goodman

"Owl, you're just confusing things. This is the day after Tuesday, and its not Thirds--I mean Thursday." "Then what day is it?" asked Owl. "It's Today!" squeaked Piglet. "My favorite day," said Pooh. -A.A. Milne

"No person can consistently behave in a way that's inconsistent with the way he perceives himself." -Neil Anderson

"You have unique gifts to offer this planet, but only if you are willing to discover them, claim them, and express them." -Hansen, Goodman

"There are exactly as many special occasions in life as we choose to celebrate." -Robert Brault

"Be an observer of your eating, not a judge. You can become a complete expert on your own body by simply eating with awareness of how your body feels before, during , and after eating. You cannot become aware while you are criticizing yourself." -Hansen, Goodman

"Change really happens when you DO something different and you experience the difference for yourself." -Rebekah Hennes

"The chronic 'Backsoon' always seems to have to be going somewhere, at least on a superficial, physical level. He doesn't go out for a walk though, he doesn't have time...The Bisy Backsoon has practically no time at all, because he's too busy wasting it by trying to save it. And by trying to save every bit of it, he ends up wasting the whole thing." -Benjamin Hoff

"You cannot tell your body what to do and listen at the same time." -Hansen, Goodman

"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." -Herm Albight

"I was going to buy a copy of the 'The Power of Positive Thinking' and then I thought 'what the hell good would that do?'" -Ronnie Shakes

"When the sun rises, it rises for everyone."

"Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats" -Voltair

"You can't leave foot prints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt...and who wants to leave butt prints in the sands of time?"

This is an awareness test.

Focus, this is tough!

So, how did you do? It took me a couple of times. I watched a video similar to this for the first time in a safety leadership class for my job. The idea behind showing the video was to remind us that we need to be aware of unsafe circumstances in the work place. What I began to think about though, is the parallel of this video to my life and its reinforcement of some things I've been learning. Simply put, we see what we focus our attention on and in the process may miss other seemingly obvious things. When I watch this video while focusing on the white team passing the ball, I don't even see "bear" trying to moonwalk. How could I not see something so obvious!?

I've often used this question rhetorically as evidence to argue that I do not have a beautiful or athletic body. It seems like a completely logical, air tight conclusion. If I see that parts of my body are "fat" and/or "ugly" then how can someone say they aren't. I see my body with my own eyes, and our eyes don't lie...right? I used to think things were this black and white but I'm learning that this is not the case.

The more I obsessively focus on something the less I see of other things and the more I mold the image that I am "seeing." Our minds are mysteriously powerful and what we focus on, we see. If I focus on the fat on my legs, that is what I will see and the image becomes more distorted as my obsessions grow. This dedicated focus also distracts me from noticing other parts and functions of my body. Just like I would have sworn there was no "dancing bear" in the video above, I become convinced that my body essentially consists of the fat on my legs, because, in both cases, that is what I "see!"

In order to see the "Bear" in the video I had to first realize that the real goal was not to count the number of passes. Then I had to apply a different level of awareness and unbiased curiosity about what I was seeing. In the same way, in order for me to see my body in its true beauty, I have to realize that the ultimate goal is not to have a perfect body by societal standards. Then I have to practice awareness of my whole body and apply that unbiased curiosity combined with loving appreciation for what I experience. Like the video says at the end, "It's easy to miss something you're not looking for."

The Hunger Spectrum

When people talk about emotional eating I often picture extreme stress or other uncomfortable emotions followed by the conscious decision to eat or binge to numb that feeling. Although this does happen and is obviously not natural, I'm finding that many times identifying emotional eating can be a little less obvious. Sometimes I don't even recognize emotional eating until I look back after I've eaten way too much in a distracted or unconscious way. I don't necessarily notice feeling ultra stressed out or depressed so I figure, oh, a couple of bites in front of the TV won't hurt, but then a couple bites becomes the whole piece, and the whole next piece, and so on. Before I know it, I've totally fallen way out of whack and am left discouraged, disappointed, and a little bewildered that I turned down that road again! Why do I not recognize it and what it will become at the beginning? 

With no way to deal with them growing up, I have practiced since I was young not to "feel" painful, sometimes taboo emotions. In my environment these were the majority of emotions but especially sadness, depression, anxiety, loneliness, love, kind words, appreciation, acceptance, disagreement, etc. and as I grew, I became more and more hungry for the emotional needs that I was not receiving. Like the majority of our society, I was also immersed in emotional and moral associations with food and appearance, and as I got older, I began to recognize that food made uncomfortable feelings go away or a while. Gradually my body began to associate emotions with food signals and my emotional "hunger" began to display similar thoughts and sensations to biological hunger. I had "hunger" in my emotional self so my body physically told me "I want food! I'm hungry!" This skewed mind-body signal became even more engrained as I continued to reinforce it with emotional eating or restricting.

Over the years my mind-body has learned that it is safer to feel hungry for food. Food never disappoints, it never leaves me or falls back on its commitments. When I'm biologically hungry I can eat and the hunger pangs subside. The problem with emotional eating is that the hunger I am truly experiencing is not biological, and feeding a biological hunger will never truly satisfy the actual "hunger." Eating feels good at first. It numbs me during that initial euphoria as I "use" it, but it never seems to fill me up. I can't get enough. I continue to eat, searching for satisfaction from my emotional hunger but I can't quite grasp it and at the end I'm left wondering "what the heck just happened!?"

Knowledge of ourselves is a powerful thing. If we can recognize that all encompassing "hunger feeling" and break it up into its components, like a prism separates the components of white light into a whole spectrum of colors, then we can identify exactly what types of hunger we are experiencing. Are the biological sensations sincere? Am I hungry for peace, rest, friendship, companionship, love, purpose, something to do? If I'm biologically hungry, food is the best food! But, if I'm hungry for acceptance or friendship, food will not fill me. Take a moment to feel the true hunger that you are experiencing and realize that it is ok.

"You aren't a bad person with low will power simply because you've eaten to cope! The problem is: long ago all of your hungers became confused into one signal - the signal for food. Be grateful for all the ways eating has helped you survive." -V Hansen, S. Goodman

No More Puffin'

"Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes, and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives. Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power." -Shirley MacLaine

Last night I remember having a very vivid dream in which I was smoking a cigar. In the dream I remember feeling guilty for indulging in such a "contemptible" behavior but I was enjoying it. It was very vivid. I remember sucking through the cigar and blowing out smoke, tasting a burnt flavor in my mouth, and tapping ashes off of the end of the cigar. What's funny is that I have never smoked a day in my life nor do I have any desire to do so. I remember in my dream feeling silly because I didn't really know what I was doing. Like most other mornings I woke up, briefly remembered my dream, thought "that was bizarre," and totally forgot about it.

Later in the day I finished up some shopping and walked out of the front doors of the store. As I took in my first breath I involuntarily gasped as the -10 degree air hit my lungs...and you know what the first split second thought to come to my mind was?..."Man, those cigars are messing up my lungs!" Baaahhh!! Wait! What!? I have never taken a puff of smoke in my entire life and yet, I had had such a vivid mental image of myself smoking a cigar that my mind associated my gasp with my lungs' inability to handle the cold because of smoking cigars.

I've gone through most of my life thinking that things like positive affirmations and the power of positive thinking were silly and just being used to try to make people "feel" better by pretending and denying the truth. Yet, if one obviously untrue vivid mental image (that I didn't even know I had remembered) could trigger me to react toward myself in such a convinced way (albeit for just a split second), imagine what continual negative thoughts toward ourselves can do. If I often look at my legs and think about how fat and ugly they are, then when I try on a pair of pants that don't fit, what is my first reaction going to be? Just like my initial thought about smoking cigars, I will think "Man, my legs are so fat and ugly." I would assume that this is why the pants didn't fit, just like I briefly assumed the cigar smoking was why I gasped, despite the actual validity of either assumption.

If one fleeting image of me smoking can make me assume that I gasped because I smoke cigars, the implications of continually reinforcing negative thoughts and perceptions are huge! These images and ideas we pound into our minds result in reacting as if those images and ideas are true. And by reacting as if they are true, they easily become true. They can then be even more strongly reenforced in our minds. I do not believe that we should ignore our problems or past or current pains nor should we just try and forget about them by "thinking positively," but we must realize and acknowledge the immense influence that the atmosphere of our thoughts has on the rest of our lives...mental and physical. There comes a point when dwelling on certain images and thoughts ceases to help us through difficult times and only perpetuates negative emotions and physical discomfort. We really do have the choice to think in whatever way we want to, which, considering the impact of those thoughts, is quite empowering! May we all put down the cigar!