At the Crux.

A few years back I participated in an outdoor rock climbing session for experiential therapy. I wanted to climb but I wasn't to enthused about the whole "therapy" part. I understood that the therapists were trying to help, but it seemed ridiculous to me at the time to talk about feelings and goals and "overcoming"...bla bla bla...We weren't laying down on some couch spilling our life stories, we were just going to climb some rocks! When I finally got my chance, I squeezed into my tiny climbing shoes and began scaling a small, challenging cliff. I came within a couple of moves from the top and my arms began to give. They were extremely "pumped." I felt completely spent and was afraid I just couldn't go on. I was so close to the top though, people were cheering me on. I specifically remember the conscious decision I made then. "I can do this. I will do this." I looked deep within me and pushed through what I thought was to difficult.

As I finished the climb and was lowered back to the ground, it dawned on me how parallel this experience could be toward my life. We all experience difficult, fearful, heart-wrenching situations. They seem impossible to overcome at the time. We are "completely spent." We feel like we just can't go on...it's too hard. I realized though, that if I look within myself and push forward with everything I have, I can accomplish what seems impossible. Sometimes the "climbs" aren't difficult but other times we have to access that extra strength within ourselves to pull up the last few feet. The hard part isn't when you start climbing, it's when you've almost reached the top...you're fatigued, maybe scared, your body hurts...but it's then that just one last push will bring success.

I've started to climb again over the last year and am constantly reminded of my experience on the cliffs in Utah. It seems that everything I read related to climbing has an experiential therapy lesson. I must not be the only one who experiences a mind-body connection while climbing! I sometimes struggle with honoring the commitments or goals I make with myself. After a particularly rough period of time I came across a full page add/picture in a magazine of a rock climber high on a difficult climb. In big black bold lettering printed to the left was a quote from the climber. "At the crux. No turning back. I commit." What an awesome, inspiring, and helpful attitude, for climbing, and for life!

"In my three decades as a climber, perhaps the biggest breakthrough occurred when I realized that almost all the mental skills and strategies I learned through climbing could be applied to other areas in my life...In pushing personal boundaries and confronting the unknown, it's common to ponder the benefits of a retreat. Acknowledge such mental battles--between your desire to do new things and your primal instinct to avoid discomfort and failure--as being a normal part of the process. Resolve to persevere and you'll redefine your abilities and perception of what is possible." -Eric J. Horst

Stretching my Thinking

I always thought that flexibility was one of those things that you are either born with our you're not. That's the way I've thought about a lot of things. You're either good at sports or you sit the bench. If you're no good at music you won't ever be able to play the guitar, or at least not very well. I've looked upon people who were really good at whatever they were doing and thought "man that is awesome, I wish I was able to do that...but that person obviously has way more talent and ability than I do." Instead of being inspired by an amazing performance, I am usually discouraged by feelings of inadequacy and disappointment. I attribute their performance to some innate talent or ability that they were blessed with and I was not.

Although this type of mind set is pervasive in our society, I'm learning that it really isn't accurate. People have many differently personalities, experiences, learning styles, and ways of thinking, but abilities and skill level are not due to innate talent or genes. They are a result of consistent practice. Yes certain people may have more of an inclination towards particular things, but I believe what we see as "talent" is passion that has fueled consistent, dedicated practice. A child music protege is not born with the ability to play the piano. They are born with a determined spirit and develop such an immense passion and love for playing the instrument that they practice all the time!

I used to be about as flexible as a two by four inch board. I was an active kid and played lots of sports but Lord have mercy those hamstrings were tight! Although I thought it would be awesome if I was, I assumed and accepted that I would never be flexible. I wasn't blessed with that talent so I never would have it. Despite the fact that I had a hard time touching my toes, I went to a yoga class about a year ago and found that stretching felt good on my joints and muscles and made me feel relaxed. I really liked one particular stretch that focuses on the hips and leads into the front splits. I began to think "it would be so cool to be able to do the splits!" Since then I've made an effort to consistently and consciously stretch. It's not something that I've scheduled or obsessively enforced upon myself. I enjoy it. It relaxes me. It feels good so I remind myself that stretching is something I like to do and that quiet and enjoyable reminder turns into consistent practice in stretching. After a year of sticking with it I have gradually become able to do something I never imagined possible! I can do the splits!

It's tough to acknowledge that I'm not going to be a pro at something the first time I try it, but it's also extremely encouraging to know that if I love something enough to dedicate myself to consistent practice and patience, I eventually will be able to do it!